Forgiveness, The Emotional Cure All

      When the Savior was on this Earth, he performed many great and amazing miracles, some that were written about, some that may not have been, but the story that always stands out to me the most is the story of the young man who had to be lowered into a house from the roof before the Savior, because it was more crowded then the Cleveland or New York train stops. 

      Once the young man was before Christ, the first thing that he said to the man was "your sins are forgiven." Now of course there were critics in the room that spoke ill of this action and Christ asked them,"Which is the easier task? To say your sins are forgiven or arise and walk?" Before anyone could answer, The Savior then told the young man to get up and walk home, which of course he did. 

      The thing that always amazes me is that the idea of forgiving someone sounds so simple, they apologize and you tell them it's alright and we all move on with life, easy right? Nope. Not at all. See the thing is, where they may not have harmed or hurt us physically, the emotional pain may not be measured, and if not treated, it will infect you.

 

      There is a young man who I met some years ago that caused me pain beyond words. I do not know this man's name, or anything about him to be completely honest. This man is no longer on this planet and he will answer for the things he has done, he can't hurt anyone else again. But for me, I am far from finished and I still have not been able to forgive this man, and the infection of hate for him is still very much part of my soul.

      The young man I speak of, was an Iraqi who fought against us when I was deployed. The only thing I do know about him, is he was raised with a deep hatred for Americans and that we are all filthy infidels. His hatred infected him, and it caused him to commit an act of horror that is beyond words. His last words before his death were, "I do this because I hate you."

       One of my fellow soldiers who was with me that day, attempted suicide when we got home because he wanted the nightmares to stop. Another one over dosed on medications and succeeded where the first failed. To this day, five years later, I still have nightmares about that day. Because one man hated us.

      Every single day since then, I struggle with forgiving this man. I like to believe I do not hate him as much as I first did, but I would be a liar to say I have forgiven him and no longer hold any ill will towards him. When ever I think of this young man, I can now see what Christ meant when he asked that simple question, "Which is easier, to say your sins are forgiven or arise and walk?" I am beginning to think that latter is the easier of the two choices. 

      I do not have the power or the authority to forgive people of their sins, That is for The Savior and our Heavenly Father to do. I can only to forgive them for the wrongs they have committed against me. I hope that if any of you are feeling ill will towards someone, please make it a priority to forgive them, because when it turns to hate, only the Savior can cut that infection from you, and it will take time and the emotional pain is extreme. Please, forgive often.

Love, The Inspiring Tragedy

      You are standing at a counter waiting on your milkshake, just casually laughing at your friends as they goof off, laughing and making everyone in the entire place question how old you guys really are, I mean who lets fourteen year olds out at 11 at night? As you smile, one of your closer friends run up and they stand very close to you. All joy is suddenly replaced by that jittery, when did I eat butterflies, is my deodorant working, why can't I be chewing gum, feeling you only get when the opposite gender gets that close to you.

      They quickly relay the message that they are going outside to get fresh air and you very intelligently say something that sounds like a grunt. They laugh and head outside as the butterflies in your stomach are replaced by a hive of bees. Suddenly you are wishing you were home and hiding under the blankets as all the what if questions start. What if they like you? What if you date? What if you don't? What if they suddenly leave your life? You know the torture that you put yourself through with these questions, so why do you ask them?

      The answer is simple, you ask those questions because you love. We have been so very blessed with that one emotion, even though it is more often then not the source of our pain in life. I mean think about it, why do we do our chores every time we go to momma's house even though we no longer live there? We love our parents. Why do we feel sorrow when someone else is hurting? Because we love them and what them to smile and be happy. Why do we stay around some of them same people, even after they have hurt us? Because we love them. Why did the Savior agree to be the sacrifice for all of our sins? Why did He agree to bleed from every pore? Why did He agree to be crucified, knowing he would be beaten, rejected, spit on and murdered? Because He loves you.

      Thats right, Christ loves you. Just as much as he loves me. He came to this mortal world, knowing every single physical torture, every emotional torment and eventually his brutal death. He knew exactly what was in store for him, and not only did he come to this world over run with selfish desires, he came with a smile on his face, arms open and love in his heart. Christ did not have to perform all the miracles he did, He didn't have to heal everyone that came to him begging for the Son of God to heal them, to fix their lives which were broken, sometimes even destroyed by circumstances both created by themselves and given to them at birth.

      Christ could of shown up, head held high demanding respect like a politician who promises to make our lives better, but he didn't. Christ didn't have to tell people he loved them, he had shown them. The young lady who just dropped all of her baskets of bread in the street creating a huge mess that people would step over, Christ stopped to help her pick them up. The man that could not see the world around him, and no one had bothered to stop and speak with, Christ found him and gave him his sight so he could do his work. The child with a skin disease that was so terrible and made all other children run in fear, never knowing what it was like to have friends, Christ not only healed him but he took the child on his lap and told him of God's love. 

      It does not matter what story you think of,  the reasoning for Christ to live such an absolutely perfect and incredible life is love. There is no other emotion that gives us that much determination or will power to do sometimes the unthinkable, even impossible things. And we have been given that same emotion so that maybe we could understand what the Savior feels for us. It may not be as pure and perfect as His, but it is still love, and we feel it just as powerfully as he does. 

      Now for the tragic part of it. We will feel different kinds of love for different people, but one day someone will come into our lives and everything will be brighter, everything they say will bring up jitters and every time you are with them, you will feel like a better person, they will light a fire inside you that can not be put out, no matter what you or anyone else tries. And then sometimes, they leave. That amazing person who caused such a great change in you, that made you into this model citizen, they made you feel love like you have never felt it before, they just leave. But the fire is still burning.

      You then start cycling through all the other emotions to try and forget them. You try hating them, you try forgetting them, you get depressed at the thought that maybe you just didn't light up their world as they did for you. You try drowning them out with memories of other people, you will try everything in your power to forget them, but that fire will still burn inside you, just as strong, just as bright and you finally accept the fact, that person changed your life, and then left. All you can do is simply continue to love them.

      Before we go back to that milkshake counter, there is one more thing I want you to consider. I just spoke of the person that is going to change your life, start a fire that will burn forever fueled by your love for them. You must realize that a day will come where you, yes you grunting cave person, will light a fire in someone else. And you may not stay in their lives, they will feel that same pain you felt, but you will change their life in such a way, that they will always love you. That is the tragic, yet inspiring story we call love. 

      So leave all the "what if" questions unasked and unanswered, grab your milkshake, find your friends and go light a fire in someone's life. Be the light they will always turn to when they need comfort, and follow the example of our beloved Savior, who should be the biggest fire in our lives. Do what he would do, and be happy.

He Walked Miles In My Shoes

        

          We often claim that there is no one who understands what we are going through, that we often feel so very alone because we seem to often face trials that just seem too dark or difficult, tests that often bring out the very tears we try to hide from others so they can continue pretending that we are doing just fine and no one needs to take time out of their day to try and cheer us up. We live in a time of great pretenders, ourselves included. 

            I know that I have played the part of being okay, and putting on such a believable act that no one even suspected that something was wrong with me. I often think of the night that I turned nineteen. A good friend of mine that I worked with at the local grocery store passed away. She was involved in an ATV accident and her body had floated downstream. Several of us split up and started looking with such frantic desperation, every nerve within us hoping and praying that this sweet, loving young woman to be alive and well, just bruised. 

        We searched for what seemed like the entire night, when my flashlight beam crossed a foot, my heart dropped. We saw her lying in the stream, not moving. When we splashed our way over, we saw the head injury that had killed this beautiful, loving child of God. We pulled her out of the water and I embraced her in a tight hug and started to weep tears of pain, anguish, sorrow that I had never known before. 

      After she was taken away and I headed back to the gathered group of friends, I could not speak. Everyone wanted to know the same thing, was she alright? Where was she? I finally muttered that she was dead. One girl called me a liar, and that it couldn't be true. When I started to cry again, they all knew the truth. We headed to the Hospital to see her parents.

     When her parents finally arrived, they asked who was the one that found their daughter? Two names were spoken in a whisper, one belonging to me. As they approached me I realized with the most sickening, violent twist of my stomach that I was the last person to ever give their daughter a hug, the last one to show my love for her. 

     I remember that night as if it was last night, and I tell you that story because it was a night I had felt truly and utterly alone. I had no idea at the time that someone was there with me, holding me, giving me strength to endure something that would have bought Titans to their knees, and I selfishly thought no one else was feeling. I am of course speaking of our Savior.

     We have all heard the saying, walk a mile in someone else's shoes before judging them, but have we ever stopped to think that someone has done exactly that? Hardly. Christ has done so much more then walk a mile in our shoes, he felt everything that we would feel. He witnessed, participated in and  even helped us in every painful, trying moment of our lives. When he was arrested and taken to prison, he walked in my shoes. When he was beaten to the point that his flesh was gone and he didn't have the strength to even stand, he stood up for you and the emotional turmoil you have felt in your life.

       

      When he knelt to pray in Gethsemane and he bled freely from every pore on his body, he bled for every sin you and I will ever commit in our mortal lives. Christ has done so much more then just walk a mile in our shoes, he has carried us across countries time and again. He holds us when we feel alone and forgotten. He wipes away the tears we hide from everyone else, he rejoices when we choose to do the right thing, and he cries when we sin. How selfish of us not to notice him in our lives, especially when he is carrying our burdens for us. 

      The next time you start to feel alone or defeated, I encourage you to seek Christ, and I know that you will find him, waiting with his arms open wide, just to embrace you and let you feel his love for you, and then I doubt you will ever truly feel alone again.